Monday, 21 December 2009
Sat in a powercut.
Powercuts are powerful things. Which is ironic, let's face it. When alone in the dark, one has no choice but to sit and think. I think about how long the street will be sitting in pitch black. I think about how many people are thinking the same thing. I think about when the owner of the screaming car alarm is going to come outside and turn it off. I think about if it's going to get any colder or if I am going to get any more ill. I think about Christmas. And remember the Christmas years back when the same thing happened. Except the difference here is that then, all my family were together, and I wasn't sitting home alone. I think about my family and how much I worry she will one day go back to how she was. I think about the new year, wishing it will be better than this one. I think about my friends. Are they sitting in the dark? I think about the movies that I have seen in the last two days and wonder if life will ever be like that for me? I think about money, mentally counting up every penny I will have over christmas. I think about dinner. As simple as it sounds, someone has to think about it. I think about school in the morning and how much I really just do not want to be there anymore. I think about men. And who currently has my heart. Don't ask me. A simple answer is not what you will receive. I think about a job and how I do not have one and when looking over at my pile of university prospectus', I think about which one is right for me and if I will achieve my dreams. I think about the power again. Waiting for it to turn back on. Noticing more people on my street come outside and think the same things. You think about a lot when forced to. I'm not sure how I feel about life today. I am ill and want summer again. A new one. I want warmth and happiness. I want late mornings and eventful nights. I want electricity. I want a man... The lights come back on. And everyone thinks the same thing: "Thank fuck for that. I need a cuppa"
Sunday, 20 December 2009
we may as well be strangers.
Being strangers is an awkward thing. Therefore, here is all you need to know to help us get better acquainted - it's got to be done, let's face it.
1. My name is Rhea - bita boring pointless information, it means water loving. greaattt one.
2. I am a 17 year old girl and I live in a pretty wack ass town in London, UK.
3. I am incredibly British, but I was clearly meant to be American.
4. I am virgin. Because most men in my life are assholes.
5. I have blonde hair. No, it isn't natural and it doesn't mean I am dumb, I lack common sense at times - yes. But I am pretty smart when it comes down to education so don't judge.
6. My sad excuse of a life used to be incredibly boring and lonely. Now, this is not the case, I have too much drama.
7. Most people think that because I go to a pretty common school with a shitty reputation, i.e. Slagtown, otherwise known as, home of underage mothers, that I myself, am common. I'm not common. I try everything possible not to be branded that way.
8. I'm too nice. I am nice to everyone. And give out way too many second chances.
9. I can honestly say I now only have one best friend. Things aren't how they used to be and I don't just call every friend - my best friend. In this new life I got going on, my best friend is pretty fooking amazing and I am surprised at how close we are despite only knowing each other a good couple of years.
10. I have had a pretty shit childhood. And vow never to turn out how my family has turned out. Not that there is anything too wrong with it anymore, we are all just abit crazy and slightly broken.
11. I looveee to write, sing, act and be the centre of the attention. Though, at the same time I am incredibly modest and shy. Weird that.
12. I use the term 'love you' too freely. I'm working on that.
13. I've had a lot of people leave my life. Sometimes I wonder if there is anything wrong with that.
14. I love love love parties. Though, this never used to be the case - I never got invited anywhere.
15. These days, I've pretty much gone against every moral I once had.
16. I only had my first actual kiss last year. 10th August 2008. I was 15 - a late bloomer compared to the rest of my friends.
17. Since my first kiss, this being a year and 4 months ago, I have kissed at least 20 people. Including 3 girls.
18. I hate rumours. Loathe them in fact.
19. I love tea. I hate coffee. Though will weirdly drink coffee from Starbucks.
20. I cry way too often and way too easily. Especially at films.
21. Films are my actual weakness. I can spend hours in HMV.
22. I can also spend hours in any bookshop, and have done.
23. I am unemployed and unemployable. Pretty much a fact.
24. My first memory was getting my head stuck in an unusually large trolley at Nettos when I were about three. It was a horrific moment for pretty much the entire supermarket.
25. I hate bees and anything that flies. I cover my ears every time I am near them, due to being stung 5 times in my left ear when I were 5.
26. I love writing songs, though I don't do it much anymore. I never make time.
27. I am very good at texting and emailing people back and cannot stand people that are not the same.
28. I am not a lesbian, but WILL make sexual comments about my girlfriends. It is how we roll.
29. I am incredibly scared of anything sexual. Despite how I act, I don't have much experience with all that jazz.
30. I change my laugh on a daily bases. And will laugh and anything remotely funny. Though I have a certain sense of humour. I don't find 'obvious jokes' funny, i.e the scary movie films. I have to turn them off, they are insulting to my humour.
31. I get judged a lot. But when people get to know me, I really am not who they originally thought I were.
32. I hate a lot of things in other people that actually I am guilty of myself.
33. I am an auntie. and soon to be an auntie of 3 :) I love it.
34. I want children yes. I'll save it till my late twenties though I think.
35. I have a type in men, though have never actually pursued that type. Which is pretty sucky.
36. On the class scale, I technically would come under a lower class, though everyone in my family believe I should belong somewhere higher. I agree.
37. I have a phobia of Robbie Williams - I once dreamt that he kissed me in primary school and I woke up crying. No joke.
38. I am probably the worst lier ever.
39. I talk for England once I get started.
40. I am in sixth form and hate it with a passion. Though, I intend to spend the next 5 to 6 years still in education. Greaaat one.
41. I've performed in a lot of theatres across London. Though not once had the main part. Assholes.
45. I am the least photogenic person ever and always hate the result of my picture being taken, though despite this, always moan the morning after a party when I am in hardly any pictures.
46. I fall for men wayyy too easily and then usually get left or ignored.
47. I get jealous of couples in PDA. and will always cover it up with the fact that "I find it gross" or "loathe emotion"
48. I despise meal deals and am like my father, and very rarely use vouchers.
49. I prefer to meet new people under the influence of alcohol and truth is, I'm pretty boring when meeting new people sober.
50. I was going to stop at 50 things about me but just to be different, as I often try to be, I'm going to make it 60.
51. I am ashamed at the fact I used to be a 'chav' - gold earrings and chain and everything. Now, I am the complete opposite to that. In fact, I don't realllyyy know where I am heading with my style. I just make it up as I go along.
52. I get incredibly bored with my hair, yet, never do anything different with it and simply blame it on the fact that "I can't"
53. I rarely go abroad, so boner every time that I do. Switzerland in 2006, has to be the most amazing experience of my life.
54. I know that deep down inside, I am a book just waiting to be published.
55. The friends that know me well, will know that every time I get randy, I will wake up with a cold sore. It is a fear of mine, and I despise herpes with a passion. Darn whomever first gave me a scab on my lip.
56. I am addicted to Facebook and will sit for hours just refreshing the homepage just in case something new happens in the world. It rarely does.
57. My confidence is growing. I used to be a complete and utter douche whom never spoke and gave people a lot of my money thinking they would give it back. They never did. Assholes.
58. I have an obsession with Musicals and my IPOD is embarrassing.
59. I have kept a diary consistently since I was about 10. People never understood that about me, but it became habit.
60. I pray that 2010 will be my year. A year of which I loose all purity and basically just have a rave. I'll let you know how it goes. I need it. 2009 has pretty much shit on me.
1. My name is Rhea - bita boring pointless information, it means water loving. greaattt one.
2. I am a 17 year old girl and I live in a pretty wack ass town in London, UK.
3. I am incredibly British, but I was clearly meant to be American.
4. I am virgin. Because most men in my life are assholes.
5. I have blonde hair. No, it isn't natural and it doesn't mean I am dumb, I lack common sense at times - yes. But I am pretty smart when it comes down to education so don't judge.
6. My sad excuse of a life used to be incredibly boring and lonely. Now, this is not the case, I have too much drama.
7. Most people think that because I go to a pretty common school with a shitty reputation, i.e. Slagtown, otherwise known as, home of underage mothers, that I myself, am common. I'm not common. I try everything possible not to be branded that way.
8. I'm too nice. I am nice to everyone. And give out way too many second chances.
9. I can honestly say I now only have one best friend. Things aren't how they used to be and I don't just call every friend - my best friend. In this new life I got going on, my best friend is pretty fooking amazing and I am surprised at how close we are despite only knowing each other a good couple of years.
10. I have had a pretty shit childhood. And vow never to turn out how my family has turned out. Not that there is anything too wrong with it anymore, we are all just abit crazy and slightly broken.
11. I looveee to write, sing, act and be the centre of the attention. Though, at the same time I am incredibly modest and shy. Weird that.
12. I use the term 'love you' too freely. I'm working on that.
13. I've had a lot of people leave my life. Sometimes I wonder if there is anything wrong with that.
14. I love love love parties. Though, this never used to be the case - I never got invited anywhere.
15. These days, I've pretty much gone against every moral I once had.
16. I only had my first actual kiss last year. 10th August 2008. I was 15 - a late bloomer compared to the rest of my friends.
17. Since my first kiss, this being a year and 4 months ago, I have kissed at least 20 people. Including 3 girls.
18. I hate rumours. Loathe them in fact.
19. I love tea. I hate coffee. Though will weirdly drink coffee from Starbucks.
20. I cry way too often and way too easily. Especially at films.
21. Films are my actual weakness. I can spend hours in HMV.
22. I can also spend hours in any bookshop, and have done.
23. I am unemployed and unemployable. Pretty much a fact.
24. My first memory was getting my head stuck in an unusually large trolley at Nettos when I were about three. It was a horrific moment for pretty much the entire supermarket.
25. I hate bees and anything that flies. I cover my ears every time I am near them, due to being stung 5 times in my left ear when I were 5.
26. I love writing songs, though I don't do it much anymore. I never make time.
27. I am very good at texting and emailing people back and cannot stand people that are not the same.
28. I am not a lesbian, but WILL make sexual comments about my girlfriends. It is how we roll.
29. I am incredibly scared of anything sexual. Despite how I act, I don't have much experience with all that jazz.
30. I change my laugh on a daily bases. And will laugh and anything remotely funny. Though I have a certain sense of humour. I don't find 'obvious jokes' funny, i.e the scary movie films. I have to turn them off, they are insulting to my humour.
31. I get judged a lot. But when people get to know me, I really am not who they originally thought I were.
32. I hate a lot of things in other people that actually I am guilty of myself.
33. I am an auntie. and soon to be an auntie of 3 :) I love it.
34. I want children yes. I'll save it till my late twenties though I think.
35. I have a type in men, though have never actually pursued that type. Which is pretty sucky.
36. On the class scale, I technically would come under a lower class, though everyone in my family believe I should belong somewhere higher. I agree.
37. I have a phobia of Robbie Williams - I once dreamt that he kissed me in primary school and I woke up crying. No joke.
38. I am probably the worst lier ever.
39. I talk for England once I get started.
40. I am in sixth form and hate it with a passion. Though, I intend to spend the next 5 to 6 years still in education. Greaaat one.
41. I've performed in a lot of theatres across London. Though not once had the main part. Assholes.
45. I am the least photogenic person ever and always hate the result of my picture being taken, though despite this, always moan the morning after a party when I am in hardly any pictures.
46. I fall for men wayyy too easily and then usually get left or ignored.
47. I get jealous of couples in PDA. and will always cover it up with the fact that "I find it gross" or "loathe emotion"
48. I despise meal deals and am like my father, and very rarely use vouchers.
49. I prefer to meet new people under the influence of alcohol and truth is, I'm pretty boring when meeting new people sober.
50. I was going to stop at 50 things about me but just to be different, as I often try to be, I'm going to make it 60.
51. I am ashamed at the fact I used to be a 'chav' - gold earrings and chain and everything. Now, I am the complete opposite to that. In fact, I don't realllyyy know where I am heading with my style. I just make it up as I go along.
52. I get incredibly bored with my hair, yet, never do anything different with it and simply blame it on the fact that "I can't"
53. I rarely go abroad, so boner every time that I do. Switzerland in 2006, has to be the most amazing experience of my life.
54. I know that deep down inside, I am a book just waiting to be published.
55. The friends that know me well, will know that every time I get randy, I will wake up with a cold sore. It is a fear of mine, and I despise herpes with a passion. Darn whomever first gave me a scab on my lip.
56. I am addicted to Facebook and will sit for hours just refreshing the homepage just in case something new happens in the world. It rarely does.
57. My confidence is growing. I used to be a complete and utter douche whom never spoke and gave people a lot of my money thinking they would give it back. They never did. Assholes.
58. I have an obsession with Musicals and my IPOD is embarrassing.
59. I have kept a diary consistently since I was about 10. People never understood that about me, but it became habit.
60. I pray that 2010 will be my year. A year of which I loose all purity and basically just have a rave. I'll let you know how it goes. I need it. 2009 has pretty much shit on me.
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